The Secret of Contentment
Sermon Manuscript
Well, we are wrapping up Philippians today. Paul has been teaching about unity in the church and he finishes by thanking them for all the ways they have supported Paul and what Paul has learned about contentment. He says he has learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger. That’s the secret of contentment. And it’s so important that the Philippian church learns this secret because discontent people create a divided church.
Some years ago, we threw a birthday party for one of my boys when he was turning four. We had his friends over, we had a bounce house, cake, and a piñata and halfway through the party, he told me this was the best birthday ever. Well, as one of his friends took a swing at the piñata, it broke and some other kids got more candy than he did. Do you know what he said to me then? “Worst day ever!” He had plenty of candy, but all he could see was that other kids had more and it momentarily sucked the joy out of his birthday. It would be nice if this kind of thing only happened to four year olds, but it doesn't. We just find other things to be discontent about.
And this is so important to Paul’s larger message in this letter because content churches will find unity and discontent churches will foster division. What Paul shows us here is 1) The key to the secret, 2) the door to the secret, and 3) the fruit of the secret.
- The key to the secret
I say key in the most literal way. Imagine a locked door. First you need the key, but then you still have to walk through the door. When I say key, I just mean the first step. There is a key we must find, but then we still have to go open the door. So, what is the key?
Paul is clear that he hasn’t always been content. It’s something that he’s learned. It was a process for him and it will be for all of us as well. In Romans seven, Paul talks about his struggle with coveting. That is, desiring what others have which is discontentment. In Galatians one Paul talks about being zealous, but not having peace. And in this letter, chapter three, Paul basically says (and I’m paraphrasing), that he had everything the world said would make him righteous, but it never satisfied him.
At some point, Paul realized how discontent he was and that was the key. The first step toward contentment for believers and unbelievers alike is to admit how discontent, how unhappy you really are. And this is actually harder to do in seasons of want because we are convinced that the fix is something external to us. When you don’t have enough money, when you don’t like your job, when your relationships aren’t working out…you think that if only I had a better job…if only I were married…if only I had married someone else…if only my kids listened to me…if only I had more money, then I would be happy and content. We saw last week that the ‘what if’ game leads to anxiety, here we see the ‘if only’ game leads to more discontent.
And you add to all of that the magnifying effect of social media. You see vacations other people have, parties they go to, people they hang out with, how many followers they have, and that just compounds the discontentment. It’s well studied now that teenagers, especially women, on social media have higher anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation which makes complete sense because it’s just compounding the discontentment we already deal with giving us a whole new list of ‘if only’s.’ That ‘if only’ is a lie that makes us think our contentment can be found if only we have that one thing.
And this is the reason I say that it can often be harder in a season of want to find contentment because we haven’t yet seen that our ‘if only’s’ won’t bring us what we think. That will not only keep us from contentment, but make us think our contentment can be found if only we have that one thing. So, we don’t stop to realize that the if only won’t actually bring the contentment we want.
It’s actually the season of plenty that shows us how unhappy we really are, but few people ever arrive there. I’m sure everyone knows the name Jim Carey. Pet Detective, Dumb and Dumber, The Truman Show. If you’re my age or a bit older, you might even remember Fire Marshal Bill. About ten years ago he was giving a commencement address at a university and he said this. “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”
I was listening to a Joe Rogan episode this week where he talked with Matthew McConaughey. They have both achieved the pinnacle of their fields and they both agreed that it didn’t bring either of them the peace and satisfaction they wanted. Joe said he found himself watching hours of videos of people living in an RV in remote parts of the world and wondering if a simple life would be more satisfying.
Why would they say that? This week I read about a Norwegian playwright named Henrik Ibsen who said, “When you take away somebody's life lie, they lose all their happiness.” I love that phrase ‘life’s lie.’ That’s the ‘if only.’ A life’s lie is the thing that you think will fill up your emptiness. It will never satisfy you when you get it, but when you lose it, it will crush you. What do you think your life’s lie is right now? As long as you believe that there is something out there in this world that will fill you up, make you happy, you live in a kind of denial of the magnitude of the emptiness you are trying to fill and the inability of the things you are trying to fill it with. The Apostle John in 1 John 2:16 says that all our life’s lies fall under three categories: desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and pride of life… and they will never make us content people.
This is why Paul is addressing both seasons of plenty and hunger, abundance and need. Both show us our lack of contentment, but in different ways. And it's often seasons of abundance that shatter us in the best ways. So the first step is to stop denying how unhappy we are. Whether you are in a season of plenty or a season of want, admit it. Then, we have the key, but we still need the door to walk through.
- The Door to the Secret
Recognizing our discontentment is important, but what we do with that is even more important. Tim Keller once said you can go one of four ways. You can blame things. Blame the things that didn’t give you what you want. You can blame yourself because maybe you just didn’t work hard enough or make the right decisions. It’s my fault I have not achieved enough. You can blame the universe. This world just doesn’t have any way for me to be satisfied. Any of these first three options will leave you discouraged at best and sometimes coping through alcohol, pornography, or pills to drown out your discouragement. But, there is a better fourth option. You can question where the feelings come from.
Have you ever been anxious about something and not known why? Something happened that made you anxious, but you’ve since forgotten what that thing was, but the anxiety continued. That’s similar to what is going on in our discontent. Something has happened to make us discontent, but we can’t remember what it was.
We desire a thriving relationship with God and we lack it because of our desire of the flesh, desire of the eyes, and pride of life. And this becomes really clear if we go all the way back to Adam and Eve in Genesis 3. Eve, who was enjoying a relationship with God, began this discontent that we now perpetuate. So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food (desire of the flesh), and that it was a delight to the eyes (desire of the eyes), and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise (pride of life), she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. - Genesis 3:6
Contentment is soul satisfaction. Our soul was made to be eternally satisfied, but we lost that soul satisfaction when we decided that our way is better than God’s way. At that moment satisfaction was stripped from our souls and discontentment would rule from that moment on. Our soul desires satisfaction in God, but if we don’t know that we will just keep looking to relationships, houses, jobs, money, and status instead.
And it’s easy to think that the contentment Paul is talking about is some lofty Christian ideal that, yeah, maybe some Christians might experience, but probably not me. Well, contentment isn’t a lofty Christian ideal, it’s the tenth commandment. You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's." - Exodus 20:17 We are commanded to not covet, which is another way of saying, “Be content!” But, that still doesn’t fix our problem. The 10th commandment isn’t supposed to fix our problem, it’s only supposed to show us our problem.
When we understand that, we can see why we desire something we can’t seem to find. We can admit that we are looking in the wrong places. This was actually exactly what happened to C.S. Lewis, the great 20th century writer. He was a professor at Oxford with every professional accolade you could want. But he wasn’t satisfied. Then he realized something. In his words, “Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”
We long for something we can’t explain and we will not be truly content without it. But, Paul found it. Paul found Him. This is what he means in verse 13, one of the most famous verses in the Bible. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. -Phil 4:13 Jesus is the secret! Jesus is the door.The main thing creating this huge void inside us is our sin that separates us from the God we were made by and for. Jesus died to pay the penalty for our sin so we can be brought into the relationship we need the most and desire the most. And if the void inside of us is infinite, then the only thing that can fill it is the Spirit of an infinite God.
That’s the secret Paul has learned. So, does that mean that no Christian will ever struggle with contentment again? No. Just last week I was with a good friend who is not a Christian and we were talking about certain stress in our lives and I talked about the financial stress of living in Orlando with four kids who eat like seven adults and college on the horizon. Then, my friend, who has plenty of money, started to tell me how it doesn’t matter how much money you have, it’s not going to fix our problems. And I was like, “Yeah, I hear you, but if $X landed in my lap, I would feel a lot better.” And then it hit me! That was my ‘if only’! And here I am, a pastor, being told by someone who isn’t even a Christian, the very thing I’m up here teaching today! And that was just last week!
So, Christians are going to still struggle with this, but we have a place to go when discontentment rises up in our hearts. We understand where it comes from. We can see that we are falling back into our old habits in seasons of want and plenty and we can quickly repent of that sin and run to Jesus. That is what Paul calls walking in the power of the Holy Spirit. That’s what he learned. He’s not strengthened by blame shifting. He’s not strengthened by a better perspective. He’s strengthened by Him: Jesus. Christianity isn’t just about being let off the hook for our sins, it’s having a relationship with the only One who can give us what we desire the most. And the more we experience the joy and satisfaction of that relationship, the more content we will be in any season. That’s the secret of contentment. Then, lastly, Paul shows us the fruit of that contentment.
- The Fruit of Contentment
The fruit of this kind of contentment is that we can let go. Paul shows us that we can let go in three ways. First, we can let go in seasons of want. We can know that God will give us what we need. That’s exactly what is happening with Paul. He’s in prison and God provides for him through the Philippian church. In fact, God has been providing through the Philippian church since that church first began. That’s what Paul means in verse 15 when he says 5 And you Philippians yourselves know that fin the beginning of the gospel, when I left Macedonia, gno church entered into partnership with me in giving and receiving, except you only. - Phil 4:15
God provided for Paul through this church when Paul was in Thessalonica as well. Paul was content in seasons of want because he knew God would give him what he needed. Not always what he wanted…Paul prayed for the thorn to be taken from his side and God said no. My grace is sufficient for you. Paul was experiencing the goodness of Jesus daily and he knew that God will use every circumstance for Paul’s good and God’s glory. This is what Paul means in verse 19 19 And my God mwill supply every need of yours naccording to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. - Phil 4:19 He knew this deeply and he was content in seasons of want.
But, secondly, we can let go in seasons of plenty. When we don’t seek contentment in our money, we are freed up to enjoy that money in more significant ways. I do think that the Philippians already understood this concept which is why Paul is sharing more than teaching or commanding. I think the Philippian church was able to let go of their money because they found more joy in being generous than hoarding it for themselves. Think about it. They ARE finding joy in their money, but from giving it away. They aren’t asking their money to give them contentment that it never will. But, now that they have found contentment in Jesus, they now find joy in letting go of their money.
Paul calls it “a fragrant offering, la sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God.” It’s only in the context of a loving relationship that this makes any sense. We make sacrifices not to appease God, but to please Him. Jesus has appeased God for us. Nothing we do can earn God’s love. But, now we are in a loving relationship with God and we get to enjoy that love and pleasure in pleasing Him.
We see this in the healthiest of relationships. It could be a best friend, it could be a romantic relationship, it could be a parent to a child, or a child to parent. When these relationships are healthy, we find joy in making sacrifices for them. Not because we have to earn their love, but because we love them and are loved by them, we get great joy in pleasing them. This is the kind of relationship God is calling us into.
I remember when Angela and I had just gotten engaged, we were at dinner with some friends and we were holding hands underneath the table. No one knew it but us. And at that moment, the whole world could have fallen apart, but I would not have been less content and I could have won the lottery and I would not have been more content. And we have never had a moment of trouble since. That would be a lie. Because even the best relationships are just a taste of what we have in Jesus. And when we are experiencing Him the way He wants us to, the world can fall apart and we are going to be ok. Or, we could have the resources of King Solomon or Elon Musk, but it won’t be better than what we have in Jesus.
Then, thirdly, a content church is going to let go of grudges and suspicion. The Philippian church, according to Paul, had not helped him out for some period of time. Paul could have believed the worst, he could have grown bitter, but he didn’t because he had the secret of contentment. This is why he says in verse ten, 10 I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length zyou have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity - Phil 4:10.. Paul could have believed the worst about that church, but he didn’t because that is the fruit of contentment.
A discontented church is going to look for the worst, but a content church is going to believe the best. When I see someone looking at other church members with unsubstantiated concern or suspicion…when they look at others like my kids look at every white van that must be driven by a kidnapper or murderer…I see a discontent person. Someone who believes the worst in others hasn’t let go of the things they can’t control and is trying to find enemies instead of brothers and sisters because fear is really what is driving them. Content people believe the best and seek understanding more than winning and that is the kind of unity Paul is pleading for in this letter.
Stanley Hauerwas once said, "I’d say, in 100 years, if Christians are people identified as those who do not kill their children or their elderly, we would have been doing something right.” Well, I think we can also say, if all we do is show the world our sanity and reasonableness in the midst of the cultural fighting, we will have done something. But only a content church can do that.
And I do think that can be us. I think we can experience this contentment. And we will know we are moving in that direction when we see ourselves letting go. Letting go in seasons of want. Letting go in seasons of plenty. And letting go of our grudges and suspicion. Then, we are not only experiencing the fruit of contentment, we are advertising to a lost, anxious, and discontent world that we live for another world.
Benediction: The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
